If you had met me a few years ago, you probably would have described me as a middle-aged, tallish, somewhat overweight, grumpy, moderately good-looking man. If you meet me today, you will meet a very tall, thin, happy, strikingly attractive woman, who you will probably guess to be in her late 30's. You may wonder if I'm a fashion model. (I get that a lot—owing more to my height than my looks, I believe!) The physical transformation of my body is just one part of how I have changed my life in transitioning from a male to female gender presentation. Changing my body is a project that in and of itself has been painful, expensive, and time-consuming; but also interesting and rewarding. In this article I will tell you about all that it entailed. To complete the picture, I will also mention some things other transsexual women may do in this regard, but which for one reason or another I have eschewed.
Weight and exercise
The first thing I did to transform my body had nothing at all to do with being transsexual. In fact, it took place years before I had any glimmer of an idea of that truth within me. But since people always ask me how I got so skinny, I'll start here. On my 40th birthday I went in for a complete physical. I told the doctor that I was worried about my blood pressure, as it often ran quite high, and my family has a history of high blood pressure. I thought (well, my mother thought) that I should probably be on blood pressure medicine. The doctor suggested that before taking that step, I should try going on a low sodium diet. I had no idea what that entailed. I soon found out that it meant eliminating all the foods I depended on and loved so much—canned soup, microwave TV dinners, cold cuts, potato chips.. I started reading labels and discovered that almost any prepared food—anything in a can or a bottle or frozen—is loaded with salt. So I began eating mostly fresh foods, but eating very little since there wasn't much I particularly liked. (Ironically, I'm now on a diet of mostly raw, fresh fruits and vegetables, which I love.) Within 6 months, I dropped 20 pounds. A few years later I had a bad case of bronchitis that left me barely able to eat for 6 weeks. I dropped another 20 pounds, which got me down to the 135 pounds I weigh today. How I keep it off is another thing. I'm not sure how I do it. I guess I just eat mostly low-fat foods and I was blessed with a high metabolism.
How I changed from a tallish man to a very tall woman is simple—I just kept my 6'1" height the same! (I guess a strong affection for 3" heels helps too.)
Also prior to my becoming aware of my transsexualism, when I was still in a heavy cross-dressing phase, I began to exercise. Mainly I did stomach crunches and pelvic trusts to develop my abdominal muscles, to keep my stomach flat for appearance sake and to strengthen the muscles for the sake of good sex! As my muscles got stronger I graduated from crunches to full sit-ups. I now do 50 sit-ups and 200 pelvic thrusts each morning, and repeat at night before going to bed. I also do some stretching, and I go out dancing a couple of times a week. By dancing, I mean a good two or three hours on the dance floor. I think this fulfills my aerobic needs.
I believe the pelvic thrusts and dancing were instrumental in loosening up my hip joints so I now walk and stand in a feminine manner. A couple of sessions with Denae Doyle helped in that area as well.
About the time I began to get serious about my transsexualism, I gave up drinking for one reason or another. This has many health and beauty benefits, as well as safety. If I was a smoker, I would give that up too. (Hint hint!) Fortunately I found that going on the wagon was fairly easy for me, even though I had been a heavy drinker all my life. This confirmed for me what I had been telling people all long, that I was NOT an alcoholic! I've now been completely dry for a year and a half.
Ears, nails, hair
The first change I made to my body which was specifically related to being transsexual was to get my ears pierced. While this of course did not constitute an irrevocable commitment to transitioning, it was a pretty big deal to me at the time. It turned out to NOT cause any stir at work or elsewhere, and it gave me a great deal of pleasure to finally be able to wear real earrings. A few months later I got my navel pierced as well. That hurt enough that I decided I was done with ornamental piercings for good! (The ear piercing barely hurt at all. For both piercings, though, the follow up care of keeping the wounds sanitized for a couple of months was a fair amount of work.)
About the same time that I got my ears pierced, I began to let my fingernails and hair grow out. These gradual changes also went by without creating any problems at work or elsewhere, much to my relief. In my first real “outing" of myself, I explained my situation to my long-time hairdresser, and begged her help in developing a nice hair style for me. Fortunately Beverly cuts both men's and women's hair, and she was delighted to help me with this. These days when I visit her for a cut, or color (oops—that lets the cat out of the bag: I'm not a natural red-head!), or a perm, Bev laughs and says she can barely remember what I was like as a guy. Being able to wear my own natural hair seems to be a great asset in passing. Before my own hair was grown out enough, I invested in a very expensive, custom human hair “integration system" (like a wig, except my own hair pulls through and becomes part of it) from Charle.. a hair studio. I still wear it when I want to look really nice. I strongly recommend one or both of these approaches for any girl who is worried about passing. Almost nothing gets you read as quickly as a cheap wig.
I get a lot of compliments on my nails. It doesn't seem like a big deal to me, but people seem surprised that they are my natural nails and that I do them myself. I was having problems growing them long, but I started using this product: http://www.fingernailcare.com/ and now eight of my nails are nice and long and strong. I don't know if the nail growth formula is responsible, but I'm happy with the result. As for doing them myself, well, whenever I get them done at the parlor, I always mess them up before they're dry. Does anybody have a solution to that problem?
The next thing for me was to begin removal of my facial hair. This felt like a big, scary commitment, but in retrospect there isn't much to getting started on this. However there is a heck of a lot to following through! I chose to go with laser hair removal, which fortunately works well on me. For some people it just isn't any good, depending largely on skin type and hair color. The alternative to laser is electrolysis, which you may want to follow up with an extremely painful laser skin resurfacing if the electrolysis leaves pock-marks behind.
Facial hair removal is the most important factor for an MtF transsexual to achieve a passing female presentation. It is also the longest and one of the most expensive and painful processes to complete. By either laser or electrolysis, a complete course will take about 2 years and cost close to $5,000. And it hurts (electrolysis even more than laser, I am told.)
After about a year of monthly laser treatments (if you do electrolysis, your treatments will probably be weekly), most of my dark facial hairs were gone. But it became clear that my gray hairs were a big problem. I discovered Meladine, a melanin spray which is absorbed by the follicles of the gray hairs and makes them sensitive to the laser light. It also was a big help in clearing the very stubborn dark hairs on my upper lip. Meladine is a bit costly (about $50 every 2 weeks) and takes a lot of discipline—I apply 6 coats of it every morning and every evening, every day until my treatment is completed. But it seems to be working. If it saves me from the electrolysis needle, it is worth it to me. I just wish I had started with the Meladine earlier in my laser treatment.
I pity the MtF with heavy leg and arm hair, not to mention back hair! I was lucky to be blessed with very light leg and arm hair which I take care of with an epilator a couple times a week. (No more razor cuts for me!) I also used the laser treatment to remove all the hair on my chest and belly and underarms. This went quickly and easily, as the hair was very light to start with.
Going full time
Soon after I realized that I am in fact a transsexual woman, pretending to be a man part of the time became intolerable and I transitioned to living full-time as a woman. This in and of itself did not change my body at all, but it was of course the biggest change ever in my life. Hooray!
Before going full-time, it is important for most girls to develop a feminine-sounding voice. This is one of the most challenging aspects in all of transitioning. (As a consolation, it also happens to be the cheapest and least painful, if you do it without surgery or a voice coach, as most girls do.) I got very lucky on this one, because the funny high voice I was cursed with all my life turned out to be a huge blessing in the end. I had always gotten “Ma'am'd" on the telephone; in fact, this was one of the things that originally lit up the idea of cross-dressing in my mind. So I didn't need to do any work at all on my vocal pitch or resonance. However, there was still plenty to learn about other aspects of sounding female, including dynamic range, enunciation, word choice, and even body English.
A few months after going full-time, I began my hormone regime. (While this complies the Harry Benjamin recommendations, my reasons for waiting were actually due to some medical complications.) Some girls tell me that beginning hormones had a great and immediate impact on them, turning the sky blue, starting the birds singing, and making them feel all girly Personally, I didn't notice anything other than feeling EXTREMELY irritable for a few weeks. After about 6 months I had noticeable breast development, about an A cup, which is all I can expect unless I put on some weight. My skin has become softer (although this may also owe to regular use of expensive skin-care products), my body hair is perhaps a little bit lighter, and maybe there has been some fat redistribution to the hips (though lord knows, there isn't much fat to redistribute.) Hormones are definitely working for me, but their impact has not been dramatic in my estimation.
Surgery
Soon after going full-time, it was obvious to me that I would spend the rest of my life, joyously, as a woman. I began to consider surgical options to further increase the femininity of my body. It was as plain as the nose on my face that I ought to start with the nose on my face. So I did a rhinoplasty. This cost about $6,000, done in the U.S. It didn't hurt at all (of course the procedure was done under general anesthetic and I was on pain pills for a few days), and I was fully recovered and back to work in two weeks, looking quite alright. It took about 3 months for the swelling to go down enough to get a good idea what was done, and about 6 months for the nose to reach its final shape. I was pleased with the result.
A couple of months after the rhinoplasty, I went back to my nose doc Dr. Brink for an upper lip shortening. This was not done at the same time as the rhinoplasty because of concern about keeping good blood flow in the area. Under local anesthetic, an incision was made directly below my nose, a chunk of skin (8 mm tall x the width of my nose, leaving 11 mm behind) was removed, and the remainder was pulled up and sewed closed right below the nose. This decreased the distance between the upper lip and the nose to produce a more aesthetically pleasing proportion. What was more important to me was that it pulled up the center part of my upper lip, exposing more lip in a bit of a “Cupid's bow." I previously had an almost invisible, flat line of an upper lip, so I thought this was very feminizing. Again, I was very pleased with the result. It cost about $3,000 and only a few days of recovery time was needed. Unfortunately, now with the shortened upper lip, it appears that the nose could be a bit smaller and more upturned, too. That is something for me to consider some time in the future.
The nose job and lip shortening constitute the extent of my facial surgery. Many transsexual women have much more extensive facial surgery. San Francisco's Dr. Douglas Osterhout (“Dr. O") is the best known and most aggressive surgeon in this area, although several others including some Thai surgeons practice it. There is an extensive menu of procedures that may be included under the rubric of FFS (Facial Feminization Surgery). I, for example, would be a candidate for a browbone shave, eyebrow lift, scalp advance, lateral orbit reduction, and jaw re-shaping. Other procedures include cheek and chin implants, facelift, and more. Most transsexual girls need a trachea shave; I didn't need one because I have almost no adam's apple (which also accounts for my naturally feminine voice.) I even know one girl who had feminizing dentristry—replacing 12 of her teeth with smaller ones.
(I did do a teeth whitening—the busines where you sleep with bleach trays in your mouth for a month.)
Some of these procedures involve peeling back the skin and grinding down bones—serious stuff! FFS can be very painful. And very expensive—I heard that one girl was quoted $40,000 for the package she wanted. For my part, I am happy enough with the way my face looks today. (By the way, Dr. Brink has pointed out to me that many of the high fashion models have quite masculine-looking jaws and other features. Also they tend to have pretty small breasts, which also helps me be content with my endowment in that area.)
While I was happy with my face, there was one other part of my body that I felt
could benefit from surgical change. That, of course, was my genitalia. So very
soon after I completed my RLT (“Real Life Test", from the
Harry Benjamin Standards Of
Care, meaning that I have successfully lived a full year as a woman) I
underwent Sexual Reassignment Surgery (SRS, or as some prefer to call it, GRS or
Genital Reconstruction Surgery.) This was pretty expensive—about $15,000 (done in
the U.S. by Dr. Annette Cholon; you can estimate about half that if you go to Thailand)—and very painful for me. (Many girls report that they didn't have much pain.) The recovery time is long; most girls take 6 weeks off work. And my new vagina takes extensive care and feeding, mostly in the form of several-times daily dilation sessions. Dilation must be continued for the rest of my life, although the frequency should go down to once a week or even once a month after a few years. I am happy to say once again, I am very pleased with the result!
Conclusion
That sums up my two year project to transform by body. I've always considered myself to be a rather lazy person, and I still do today. How in the world did I manage to undertake and complete such an elaborate program? I guess the answer is mainly that it was something I wanted very badly—indeed, I needed it to survive. But another part of the answer is that I never viewed it as a single massive project. I took it day by day, step by step. I started each task when I got really hyped up for it, and I considered that each thing I did could very well be the last. So maybe I'm not done yet. Maybe next year I'll get excited about bigger breasts, or a smaller nose, or more arch to my eyebrows. If so, and if I feel like it, I may do some more. But for now, I feel good about my body exactly the way it is. The daily grind of skin care, exercise, Meladine, and dilation is a drag, but I have only to look in the mirror to get the motivation to continue.
And to any of my budding transsexual sisters out there who may be nervous about beginning to transform your own bodies, don't be discouraged. If I did it, you can do it too. Meanwhile, why not think about heading down to the mall and getting those ears pierced?
Love,
Lannie Rose
4/2003
Home ..
Words index
How I changed from a tallish man to a very tall woman is simple—I just kept my 6'1" height the same! (I guess a strong affection for 3" heels helps too.)
Also prior to my becoming aware of my transsexualism, when I was still in a heavy cross-dressing phase, I began to exercise. Mainly I did stomach crunches and pelvic trusts to develop my abdominal muscles, to keep my stomach flat for appearance sake and to strengthen the muscles for the sake of good sex! As my muscles got stronger I graduated from crunches to full sit-ups. I now do 50 sit-ups and 200 pelvic thrusts each morning, and repeat at night before going to bed. I also do some stretching, and I go out dancing a couple of times a week. By dancing, I mean a good two or three hours on the dance floor. I think this fulfills my aerobic needs.
I believe the pelvic thrusts and dancing were instrumental in loosening up my hip joints so I now walk and stand in a feminine manner. A couple of sessions with Denae Doyle helped in that area as well.
About the time I began to get serious about my transsexualism, I gave up drinking for one reason or another. This has many health and beauty benefits, as well as safety. If I was a smoker, I would give that up too. (Hint hint!) Fortunately I found that going on the wagon was fairly easy for me, even though I had been a heavy drinker all my life. This confirmed for me what I had been telling people all long, that I was NOT an alcoholic! I've now been completely dry for a year and a half.
Ears, nails, hair
The first change I made to my body which was specifically related to being transsexual was to get my ears pierced. While this of course did not constitute an irrevocable commitment to transitioning, it was a pretty big deal to me at the time. It turned out to NOT cause any stir at work or elsewhere, and it gave me a great deal of pleasure to finally be able to wear real earrings. A few months later I got my navel pierced as well. That hurt enough that I decided I was done with ornamental piercings for good! (The ear piercing barely hurt at all. For both piercings, though, the follow up care of keeping the wounds sanitized for a couple of months was a fair amount of work.)
About the same time that I got my ears pierced, I began to let my fingernails and hair grow out. These gradual changes also went by without creating any problems at work or elsewhere, much to my relief. In my first real “outing" of myself, I explained my situation to my long-time hairdresser, and begged her help in developing a nice hair style for me. Fortunately Beverly cuts both men's and women's hair, and she was delighted to help me with this. These days when I visit her for a cut, or color (oops—that lets the cat out of the bag: I'm not a natural red-head!), or a perm, Bev laughs and says she can barely remember what I was like as a guy. Being able to wear my own natural hair seems to be a great asset in passing. Before my own hair was grown out enough, I invested in a very expensive, custom human hair “integration system" (like a wig, except my own hair pulls through and becomes part of it) from Charle.. a hair studio. I still wear it when I want to look really nice. I strongly recommend one or both of these approaches for any girl who is worried about passing. Almost nothing gets you read as quickly as a cheap wig.
I get a lot of compliments on my nails. It doesn't seem like a big deal to me, but people seem surprised that they are my natural nails and that I do them myself. I was having problems growing them long, but I started using this product: http://www.fingernailcare.com/ and now eight of my nails are nice and long and strong. I don't know if the nail growth formula is responsible, but I'm happy with the result. As for doing them myself, well, whenever I get them done at the parlor, I always mess them up before they're dry. Does anybody have a solution to that problem?
The next thing for me was to begin removal of my facial hair. This felt like a big, scary commitment, but in retrospect there isn't much to getting started on this. However there is a heck of a lot to following through! I chose to go with laser hair removal, which fortunately works well on me. For some people it just isn't any good, depending largely on skin type and hair color. The alternative to laser is electrolysis, which you may want to follow up with an extremely painful laser skin resurfacing if the electrolysis leaves pock-marks behind.
Facial hair removal is the most important factor for an MtF transsexual to achieve a passing female presentation. It is also the longest and one of the most expensive and painful processes to complete. By either laser or electrolysis, a complete course will take about 2 years and cost close to $5,000. And it hurts (electrolysis even more than laser, I am told.)
After about a year of monthly laser treatments (if you do electrolysis, your treatments will probably be weekly), most of my dark facial hairs were gone. But it became clear that my gray hairs were a big problem. I discovered Meladine, a melanin spray which is absorbed by the follicles of the gray hairs and makes them sensitive to the laser light. It also was a big help in clearing the very stubborn dark hairs on my upper lip. Meladine is a bit costly (about $50 every 2 weeks) and takes a lot of discipline—I apply 6 coats of it every morning and every evening, every day until my treatment is completed. But it seems to be working. If it saves me from the electrolysis needle, it is worth it to me. I just wish I had started with the Meladine earlier in my laser treatment.
I pity the MtF with heavy leg and arm hair, not to mention back hair! I was lucky to be blessed with very light leg and arm hair which I take care of with an epilator a couple times a week. (No more razor cuts for me!) I also used the laser treatment to remove all the hair on my chest and belly and underarms. This went quickly and easily, as the hair was very light to start with.
Going full time
Soon after I realized that I am in fact a transsexual woman, pretending to be a man part of the time became intolerable and I transitioned to living full-time as a woman. This in and of itself did not change my body at all, but it was of course the biggest change ever in my life. Hooray!
Before going full-time, it is important for most girls to develop a feminine-sounding voice. This is one of the most challenging aspects in all of transitioning. (As a consolation, it also happens to be the cheapest and least painful, if you do it without surgery or a voice coach, as most girls do.) I got very lucky on this one, because the funny high voice I was cursed with all my life turned out to be a huge blessing in the end. I had always gotten “Ma'am'd" on the telephone; in fact, this was one of the things that originally lit up the idea of cross-dressing in my mind. So I didn't need to do any work at all on my vocal pitch or resonance. However, there was still plenty to learn about other aspects of sounding female, including dynamic range, enunciation, word choice, and even body English.
A few months after going full-time, I began my hormone regime. (While this complies the Harry Benjamin recommendations, my reasons for waiting were actually due to some medical complications.) Some girls tell me that beginning hormones had a great and immediate impact on them, turning the sky blue, starting the birds singing, and making them feel all girly Personally, I didn't notice anything other than feeling EXTREMELY irritable for a few weeks. After about 6 months I had noticeable breast development, about an A cup, which is all I can expect unless I put on some weight. My skin has become softer (although this may also owe to regular use of expensive skin-care products), my body hair is perhaps a little bit lighter, and maybe there has been some fat redistribution to the hips (though lord knows, there isn't much fat to redistribute.) Hormones are definitely working for me, but their impact has not been dramatic in my estimation.
Surgery
Soon after going full-time, it was obvious to me that I would spend the rest of my life, joyously, as a woman. I began to consider surgical options to further increase the femininity of my body. It was as plain as the nose on my face that I ought to start with the nose on my face. So I did a rhinoplasty. This cost about $6,000, done in the U.S. It didn't hurt at all (of course the procedure was done under general anesthetic and I was on pain pills for a few days), and I was fully recovered and back to work in two weeks, looking quite alright. It took about 3 months for the swelling to go down enough to get a good idea what was done, and about 6 months for the nose to reach its final shape. I was pleased with the result.
A couple of months after the rhinoplasty, I went back to my nose doc Dr. Brink for an upper lip shortening. This was not done at the same time as the rhinoplasty because of concern about keeping good blood flow in the area. Under local anesthetic, an incision was made directly below my nose, a chunk of skin (8 mm tall x the width of my nose, leaving 11 mm behind) was removed, and the remainder was pulled up and sewed closed right below the nose. This decreased the distance between the upper lip and the nose to produce a more aesthetically pleasing proportion. What was more important to me was that it pulled up the center part of my upper lip, exposing more lip in a bit of a “Cupid's bow." I previously had an almost invisible, flat line of an upper lip, so I thought this was very feminizing. Again, I was very pleased with the result. It cost about $3,000 and only a few days of recovery time was needed. Unfortunately, now with the shortened upper lip, it appears that the nose could be a bit smaller and more upturned, too. That is something for me to consider some time in the future.
The nose job and lip shortening constitute the extent of my facial surgery. Many transsexual women have much more extensive facial surgery. San Francisco's Dr. Douglas Osterhout (“Dr. O") is the best known and most aggressive surgeon in this area, although several others including some Thai surgeons practice it. There is an extensive menu of procedures that may be included under the rubric of FFS (Facial Feminization Surgery). I, for example, would be a candidate for a browbone shave, eyebrow lift, scalp advance, lateral orbit reduction, and jaw re-shaping. Other procedures include cheek and chin implants, facelift, and more. Most transsexual girls need a trachea shave; I didn't need one because I have almost no adam's apple (which also accounts for my naturally feminine voice.) I even know one girl who had feminizing dentristry—replacing 12 of her teeth with smaller ones.
(I did do a teeth whitening—the busines where you sleep with bleach trays in your mouth for a month.)
Some of these procedures involve peeling back the skin and grinding down bones—serious stuff! FFS can be very painful. And very expensive—I heard that one girl was quoted $40,000 for the package she wanted. For my part, I am happy enough with the way my face looks today. (By the way, Dr. Brink has pointed out to me that many of the high fashion models have quite masculine-looking jaws and other features. Also they tend to have pretty small breasts, which also helps me be content with my endowment in that area.)
While I was happy with my face, there was one other part of my body that I felt
could benefit from surgical change. That, of course, was my genitalia. So very
soon after I completed my RLT (“Real Life Test", from the
Harry Benjamin Standards Of
Care, meaning that I have successfully lived a full year as a woman) I
underwent Sexual Reassignment Surgery (SRS, or as some prefer to call it, GRS or
Genital Reconstruction Surgery.) This was pretty expensive—about $15,000 (done in
the U.S. by Dr. Annette Cholon; you can estimate about half that if you go to Thailand)—and very painful for me. (Many girls report that they didn't have much pain.) The recovery time is long; most girls take 6 weeks off work. And my new vagina takes extensive care and feeding, mostly in the form of several-times daily dilation sessions. Dilation must be continued for the rest of my life, although the frequency should go down to once a week or even once a month after a few years. I am happy to say once again, I am very pleased with the result!
Conclusion
That sums up my two year project to transform by body. I've always considered myself to be a rather lazy person, and I still do today. How in the world did I manage to undertake and complete such an elaborate program? I guess the answer is mainly that it was something I wanted very badly—indeed, I needed it to survive. But another part of the answer is that I never viewed it as a single massive project. I took it day by day, step by step. I started each task when I got really hyped up for it, and I considered that each thing I did could very well be the last. So maybe I'm not done yet. Maybe next year I'll get excited about bigger breasts, or a smaller nose, or more arch to my eyebrows. If so, and if I feel like it, I may do some more. But for now, I feel good about my body exactly the way it is. The daily grind of skin care, exercise, Meladine, and dilation is a drag, but I have only to look in the mirror to get the motivation to continue.
And to any of my budding transsexual sisters out there who may be nervous about beginning to transform your own bodies, don't be discouraged. If I did it, you can do it too. Meanwhile, why not think about heading down to the mall and getting those ears pierced?
Love,
Lannie Rose
4/2003
Home ..
Words index
I believe the pelvic thrusts and dancing were instrumental in loosening up my hip joints so I now walk and stand in a feminine manner. A couple of sessions with Denae Doyle helped in that area as well.
About the time I began to get serious about my transsexualism, I gave up drinking for one reason or another. This has many health and beauty benefits, as well as safety. If I was a smoker, I would give that up too. (Hint hint!) Fortunately I found that going on the wagon was fairly easy for me, even though I had been a heavy drinker all my life. This confirmed for me what I had been telling people all long, that I was NOT an alcoholic! I've now been completely dry for a year and a half.
Ears, nails, hair
The first change I made to my body which was specifically related to being transsexual was to get my ears pierced. While this of course did not constitute an irrevocable commitment to transitioning, it was a pretty big deal to me at the time. It turned out to NOT cause any stir at work or elsewhere, and it gave me a great deal of pleasure to finally be able to wear real earrings. A few months later I got my navel pierced as well. That hurt enough that I decided I was done with ornamental piercings for good! (The ear piercing barely hurt at all. For both piercings, though, the follow up care of keeping the wounds sanitized for a couple of months was a fair amount of work.)
About the same time that I got my ears pierced, I began to let my fingernails and hair grow out. These gradual changes also went by without creating any problems at work or elsewhere, much to my relief. In my first real “outing" of myself, I explained my situation to my long-time hairdresser, and begged her help in developing a nice hair style for me. Fortunately Beverly cuts both men's and women's hair, and she was delighted to help me with this. These days when I visit her for a cut, or color (oops—that lets the cat out of the bag: I'm not a natural red-head!), or a perm, Bev laughs and says she can barely remember what I was like as a guy. Being able to wear my own natural hair seems to be a great asset in passing. Before my own hair was grown out enough, I invested in a very expensive, custom human hair “integration system" (like a wig, except my own hair pulls through and becomes part of it) from Charle.. a hair studio. I still wear it when I want to look really nice. I strongly recommend one or both of these approaches for any girl who is worried about passing. Almost nothing gets you read as quickly as a cheap wig.
I get a lot of compliments on my nails. It doesn't seem like a big deal to me, but people seem surprised that they are my natural nails and that I do them myself. I was having problems growing them long, but I started using this product: http://www.fingernailcare.com/ and now eight of my nails are nice and long and strong. I don't know if the nail growth formula is responsible, but I'm happy with the result. As for doing them myself, well, whenever I get them done at the parlor, I always mess them up before they're dry. Does anybody have a solution to that problem?
The next thing for me was to begin removal of my facial hair. This felt like a big, scary commitment, but in retrospect there isn't much to getting started on this. However there is a heck of a lot to following through! I chose to go with laser hair removal, which fortunately works well on me. For some people it just isn't any good, depending largely on skin type and hair color. The alternative to laser is electrolysis, which you may want to follow up with an extremely painful laser skin resurfacing if the electrolysis leaves pock-marks behind.
Facial hair removal is the most important factor for an MtF transsexual to achieve a passing female presentation. It is also the longest and one of the most expensive and painful processes to complete. By either laser or electrolysis, a complete course will take about 2 years and cost close to $5,000. And it hurts (electrolysis even more than laser, I am told.)
After about a year of monthly laser treatments (if you do electrolysis, your treatments will probably be weekly), most of my dark facial hairs were gone. But it became clear that my gray hairs were a big problem. I discovered Meladine, a melanin spray which is absorbed by the follicles of the gray hairs and makes them sensitive to the laser light. It also was a big help in clearing the very stubborn dark hairs on my upper lip. Meladine is a bit costly (about $50 every 2 weeks) and takes a lot of discipline—I apply 6 coats of it every morning and every evening, every day until my treatment is completed. But it seems to be working. If it saves me from the electrolysis needle, it is worth it to me. I just wish I had started with the Meladine earlier in my laser treatment.
I pity the MtF with heavy leg and arm hair, not to mention back hair! I was lucky to be blessed with very light leg and arm hair which I take care of with an epilator a couple times a week. (No more razor cuts for me!) I also used the laser treatment to remove all the hair on my chest and belly and underarms. This went quickly and easily, as the hair was very light to start with.
Going full time
Soon after I realized that I am in fact a transsexual woman, pretending to be a man part of the time became intolerable and I transitioned to living full-time as a woman. This in and of itself did not change my body at all, but it was of course the biggest change ever in my life. Hooray!
Before going full-time, it is important for most girls to develop a feminine-sounding voice. This is one of the most challenging aspects in all of transitioning. (As a consolation, it also happens to be the cheapest and least painful, if you do it without surgery or a voice coach, as most girls do.) I got very lucky on this one, because the funny high voice I was cursed with all my life turned out to be a huge blessing in the end. I had always gotten “Ma'am'd" on the telephone; in fact, this was one of the things that originally lit up the idea of cross-dressing in my mind. So I didn't need to do any work at all on my vocal pitch or resonance. However, there was still plenty to learn about other aspects of sounding female, including dynamic range, enunciation, word choice, and even body English.
A few months after going full-time, I began my hormone regime. (While this complies the Harry Benjamin recommendations, my reasons for waiting were actually due to some medical complications.) Some girls tell me that beginning hormones had a great and immediate impact on them, turning the sky blue, starting the birds singing, and making them feel all girly Personally, I didn't notice anything other than feeling EXTREMELY irritable for a few weeks. After about 6 months I had noticeable breast development, about an A cup, which is all I can expect unless I put on some weight. My skin has become softer (although this may also owe to regular use of expensive skin-care products), my body hair is perhaps a little bit lighter, and maybe there has been some fat redistribution to the hips (though lord knows, there isn't much fat to redistribute.) Hormones are definitely working for me, but their impact has not been dramatic in my estimation.
Surgery
Soon after going full-time, it was obvious to me that I would spend the rest of my life, joyously, as a woman. I began to consider surgical options to further increase the femininity of my body. It was as plain as the nose on my face that I ought to start with the nose on my face. So I did a rhinoplasty. This cost about $6,000, done in the U.S. It didn't hurt at all (of course the procedure was done under general anesthetic and I was on pain pills for a few days), and I was fully recovered and back to work in two weeks, looking quite alright. It took about 3 months for the swelling to go down enough to get a good idea what was done, and about 6 months for the nose to reach its final shape. I was pleased with the result.
A couple of months after the rhinoplasty, I went back to my nose doc Dr. Brink for an upper lip shortening. This was not done at the same time as the rhinoplasty because of concern about keeping good blood flow in the area. Under local anesthetic, an incision was made directly below my nose, a chunk of skin (8 mm tall x the width of my nose, leaving 11 mm behind) was removed, and the remainder was pulled up and sewed closed right below the nose. This decreased the distance between the upper lip and the nose to produce a more aesthetically pleasing proportion. What was more important to me was that it pulled up the center part of my upper lip, exposing more lip in a bit of a “Cupid's bow." I previously had an almost invisible, flat line of an upper lip, so I thought this was very feminizing. Again, I was very pleased with the result. It cost about $3,000 and only a few days of recovery time was needed. Unfortunately, now with the shortened upper lip, it appears that the nose could be a bit smaller and more upturned, too. That is something for me to consider some time in the future.
The nose job and lip shortening constitute the extent of my facial surgery. Many transsexual women have much more extensive facial surgery. San Francisco's Dr. Douglas Osterhout (“Dr. O") is the best known and most aggressive surgeon in this area, although several others including some Thai surgeons practice it. There is an extensive menu of procedures that may be included under the rubric of FFS (Facial Feminization Surgery). I, for example, would be a candidate for a browbone shave, eyebrow lift, scalp advance, lateral orbit reduction, and jaw re-shaping. Other procedures include cheek and chin implants, facelift, and more. Most transsexual girls need a trachea shave; I didn't need one because I have almost no adam's apple (which also accounts for my naturally feminine voice.) I even know one girl who had feminizing dentristry—replacing 12 of her teeth with smaller ones.
(I did do a teeth whitening—the busines where you sleep with bleach trays in your mouth for a month.)
Some of these procedures involve peeling back the skin and grinding down bones—serious stuff! FFS can be very painful. And very expensive—I heard that one girl was quoted $40,000 for the package she wanted. For my part, I am happy enough with the way my face looks today. (By the way, Dr. Brink has pointed out to me that many of the high fashion models have quite masculine-looking jaws and other features. Also they tend to have pretty small breasts, which also helps me be content with my endowment in that area.)
While I was happy with my face, there was one other part of my body that I felt
could benefit from surgical change. That, of course, was my genitalia. So very
soon after I completed my RLT (“Real Life Test", from the
Harry Benjamin Standards Of
Care, meaning that I have successfully lived a full year as a woman) I
underwent Sexual Reassignment Surgery (SRS, or as some prefer to call it, GRS or
Genital Reconstruction Surgery.) This was pretty expensive—about $15,000 (done in
the U.S. by Dr. Annette Cholon; you can estimate about half that if you go to Thailand)—and very painful for me. (Many girls report that they didn't have much pain.) The recovery time is long; most girls take 6 weeks off work. And my new vagina takes extensive care and feeding, mostly in the form of several-times daily dilation sessions. Dilation must be continued for the rest of my life, although the frequency should go down to once a week or even once a month after a few years. I am happy to say once again, I am very pleased with the result!
Conclusion
That sums up my two year project to transform by body. I've always considered myself to be a rather lazy person, and I still do today. How in the world did I manage to undertake and complete such an elaborate program? I guess the answer is mainly that it was something I wanted very badly—indeed, I needed it to survive. But another part of the answer is that I never viewed it as a single massive project. I took it day by day, step by step. I started each task when I got really hyped up for it, and I considered that each thing I did could very well be the last. So maybe I'm not done yet. Maybe next year I'll get excited about bigger breasts, or a smaller nose, or more arch to my eyebrows. If so, and if I feel like it, I may do some more. But for now, I feel good about my body exactly the way it is. The daily grind of skin care, exercise, Meladine, and dilation is a drag, but I have only to look in the mirror to get the motivation to continue.
And to any of my budding transsexual sisters out there who may be nervous about beginning to transform your own bodies, don't be discouraged. If I did it, you can do it too. Meanwhile, why not think about heading down to the mall and getting those ears pierced?
Love,
Lannie Rose
4/2003
Home ..
Words index
Ears, nails, hair
The first change I made to my body which was specifically related to being transsexual was to get my ears pierced. While this of course did not constitute an irrevocable commitment to transitioning, it was a pretty big deal to me at the time. It turned out to NOT cause any stir at work or elsewhere, and it gave me a great deal of pleasure to finally be able to wear real earrings. A few months later I got my navel pierced as well. That hurt enough that I decided I was done with ornamental piercings for good! (The ear piercing barely hurt at all. For both piercings, though, the follow up care of keeping the wounds sanitized for a couple of months was a fair amount of work.)
About the same time that I got my ears pierced, I began to let my fingernails and hair grow out. These gradual changes also went by without creating any problems at work or elsewhere, much to my relief. In my first real “outing" of myself, I explained my situation to my long-time hairdresser, and begged her help in developing a nice hair style for me. Fortunately Beverly cuts both men's and women's hair, and she was delighted to help me with this. These days when I visit her for a cut, or color (oops—that lets the cat out of the bag: I'm not a natural red-head!), or a perm, Bev laughs and says she can barely remember what I was like as a guy. Being able to wear my own natural hair seems to be a great asset in passing. Before my own hair was grown out enough, I invested in a very expensive, custom human hair “integration system" (like a wig, except my own hair pulls through and becomes part of it) from Charle.. a hair studio. I still wear it when I want to look really nice. I strongly recommend one or both of these approaches for any girl who is worried about passing. Almost nothing gets you read as quickly as a cheap wig.
I get a lot of compliments on my nails. It doesn't seem like a big deal to me, but people seem surprised that they are my natural nails and that I do them myself. I was having problems growing them long, but I started using this product: http://www.fingernailcare.com/ and now eight of my nails are nice and long and strong. I don't know if the nail growth formula is responsible, but I'm happy with the result. As for doing them myself, well, whenever I get them done at the parlor, I always mess them up before they're dry. Does anybody have a solution to that problem?
The next thing for me was to begin removal of my facial hair. This felt like a big, scary commitment, but in retrospect there isn't much to getting started on this. However there is a heck of a lot to following through! I chose to go with laser hair removal, which fortunately works well on me. For some people it just isn't any good, depending largely on skin type and hair color. The alternative to laser is electrolysis, which you may want to follow up with an extremely painful laser skin resurfacing if the electrolysis leaves pock-marks behind.
Facial hair removal is the most important factor for an MtF transsexual to achieve a passing female presentation. It is also the longest and one of the most expensive and painful processes to complete. By either laser or electrolysis, a complete course will take about 2 years and cost close to $5,000. And it hurts (electrolysis even more than laser, I am told.)
After about a year of monthly laser treatments (if you do electrolysis, your treatments will probably be weekly), most of my dark facial hairs were gone. But it became clear that my gray hairs were a big problem. I discovered Meladine, a melanin spray which is absorbed by the follicles of the gray hairs and makes them sensitive to the laser light. It also was a big help in clearing the very stubborn dark hairs on my upper lip. Meladine is a bit costly (about $50 every 2 weeks) and takes a lot of discipline—I apply 6 coats of it every morning and every evening, every day until my treatment is completed. But it seems to be working. If it saves me from the electrolysis needle, it is worth it to me. I just wish I had started with the Meladine earlier in my laser treatment.
I pity the MtF with heavy leg and arm hair, not to mention back hair! I was lucky to be blessed with very light leg and arm hair which I take care of with an epilator a couple times a week. (No more razor cuts for me!) I also used the laser treatment to remove all the hair on my chest and belly and underarms. This went quickly and easily, as the hair was very light to start with.
Going full time
Soon after I realized that I am in fact a transsexual woman, pretending to be a man part of the time became intolerable and I transitioned to living full-time as a woman. This in and of itself did not change my body at all, but it was of course the biggest change ever in my life. Hooray!
Before going full-time, it is important for most girls to develop a feminine-sounding voice. This is one of the most challenging aspects in all of transitioning. (As a consolation, it also happens to be the cheapest and least painful, if you do it without surgery or a voice coach, as most girls do.) I got very lucky on this one, because the funny high voice I was cursed with all my life turned out to be a huge blessing in the end. I had always gotten “Ma'am'd" on the telephone; in fact, this was one of the things that originally lit up the idea of cross-dressing in my mind. So I didn't need to do any work at all on my vocal pitch or resonance. However, there was still plenty to learn about other aspects of sounding female, including dynamic range, enunciation, word choice, and even body English.
A few months after going full-time, I began my hormone regime. (While this complies the Harry Benjamin recommendations, my reasons for waiting were actually due to some medical complications.) Some girls tell me that beginning hormones had a great and immediate impact on them, turning the sky blue, starting the birds singing, and making them feel all girly Personally, I didn't notice anything other than feeling EXTREMELY irritable for a few weeks. After about 6 months I had noticeable breast development, about an A cup, which is all I can expect unless I put on some weight. My skin has become softer (although this may also owe to regular use of expensive skin-care products), my body hair is perhaps a little bit lighter, and maybe there has been some fat redistribution to the hips (though lord knows, there isn't much fat to redistribute.) Hormones are definitely working for me, but their impact has not been dramatic in my estimation.
Surgery
Soon after going full-time, it was obvious to me that I would spend the rest of my life, joyously, as a woman. I began to consider surgical options to further increase the femininity of my body. It was as plain as the nose on my face that I ought to start with the nose on my face. So I did a rhinoplasty. This cost about $6,000, done in the U.S. It didn't hurt at all (of course the procedure was done under general anesthetic and I was on pain pills for a few days), and I was fully recovered and back to work in two weeks, looking quite alright. It took about 3 months for the swelling to go down enough to get a good idea what was done, and about 6 months for the nose to reach its final shape. I was pleased with the result.
A couple of months after the rhinoplasty, I went back to my nose doc Dr. Brink for an upper lip shortening. This was not done at the same time as the rhinoplasty because of concern about keeping good blood flow in the area. Under local anesthetic, an incision was made directly below my nose, a chunk of skin (8 mm tall x the width of my nose, leaving 11 mm behind) was removed, and the remainder was pulled up and sewed closed right below the nose. This decreased the distance between the upper lip and the nose to produce a more aesthetically pleasing proportion. What was more important to me was that it pulled up the center part of my upper lip, exposing more lip in a bit of a “Cupid's bow." I previously had an almost invisible, flat line of an upper lip, so I thought this was very feminizing. Again, I was very pleased with the result. It cost about $3,000 and only a few days of recovery time was needed. Unfortunately, now with the shortened upper lip, it appears that the nose could be a bit smaller and more upturned, too. That is something for me to consider some time in the future.
The nose job and lip shortening constitute the extent of my facial surgery. Many transsexual women have much more extensive facial surgery. San Francisco's Dr. Douglas Osterhout (“Dr. O") is the best known and most aggressive surgeon in this area, although several others including some Thai surgeons practice it. There is an extensive menu of procedures that may be included under the rubric of FFS (Facial Feminization Surgery). I, for example, would be a candidate for a browbone shave, eyebrow lift, scalp advance, lateral orbit reduction, and jaw re-shaping. Other procedures include cheek and chin implants, facelift, and more. Most transsexual girls need a trachea shave; I didn't need one because I have almost no adam's apple (which also accounts for my naturally feminine voice.) I even know one girl who had feminizing dentristry—replacing 12 of her teeth with smaller ones.
(I did do a teeth whitening—the busines where you sleep with bleach trays in your mouth for a month.)
Some of these procedures involve peeling back the skin and grinding down bones—serious stuff! FFS can be very painful. And very expensive—I heard that one girl was quoted $40,000 for the package she wanted. For my part, I am happy enough with the way my face looks today. (By the way, Dr. Brink has pointed out to me that many of the high fashion models have quite masculine-looking jaws and other features. Also they tend to have pretty small breasts, which also helps me be content with my endowment in that area.)
While I was happy with my face, there was one other part of my body that I felt
could benefit from surgical change. That, of course, was my genitalia. So very
soon after I completed my RLT (“Real Life Test", from the
Harry Benjamin Standards Of
Care, meaning that I have successfully lived a full year as a woman) I
underwent Sexual Reassignment Surgery (SRS, or as some prefer to call it, GRS or
Genital Reconstruction Surgery.) This was pretty expensive—about $15,000 (done in
the U.S. by Dr. Annette Cholon; you can estimate about half that if you go to Thailand)—and very painful for me. (Many girls report that they didn't have much pain.) The recovery time is long; most girls take 6 weeks off work. And my new vagina takes extensive care and feeding, mostly in the form of several-times daily dilation sessions. Dilation must be continued for the rest of my life, although the frequency should go down to once a week or even once a month after a few years. I am happy to say once again, I am very pleased with the result!
Conclusion
That sums up my two year project to transform by body. I've always considered myself to be a rather lazy person, and I still do today. How in the world did I manage to undertake and complete such an elaborate program? I guess the answer is mainly that it was something I wanted very badly—indeed, I needed it to survive. But another part of the answer is that I never viewed it as a single massive project. I took it day by day, step by step. I started each task when I got really hyped up for it, and I considered that each thing I did could very well be the last. So maybe I'm not done yet. Maybe next year I'll get excited about bigger breasts, or a smaller nose, or more arch to my eyebrows. If so, and if I feel like it, I may do some more. But for now, I feel good about my body exactly the way it is. The daily grind of skin care, exercise, Meladine, and dilation is a drag, but I have only to look in the mirror to get the motivation to continue.
And to any of my budding transsexual sisters out there who may be nervous about beginning to transform your own bodies, don't be discouraged. If I did it, you can do it too. Meanwhile, why not think about heading down to the mall and getting those ears pierced?
Love,
Lannie Rose
4/2003
Home ..
Words index
About the same time that I got my ears pierced, I began to let my fingernails and hair grow out. These gradual changes also went by without creating any problems at work or elsewhere, much to my relief. In my first real “outing" of myself, I explained my situation to my long-time hairdresser, and begged her help in developing a nice hair style for me. Fortunately Beverly cuts both men's and women's hair, and she was delighted to help me with this. These days when I visit her for a cut, or color (oops—that lets the cat out of the bag: I'm not a natural red-head!), or a perm, Bev laughs and says she can barely remember what I was like as a guy. Being able to wear my own natural hair seems to be a great asset in passing. Before my own hair was grown out enough, I invested in a very expensive, custom human hair “integration system" (like a wig, except my own hair pulls through and becomes part of it) from Charle.. a hair studio. I still wear it when I want to look really nice. I strongly recommend one or both of these approaches for any girl who is worried about passing. Almost nothing gets you read as quickly as a cheap wig.
I get a lot of compliments on my nails. It doesn't seem like a big deal to me, but people seem surprised that they are my natural nails and that I do them myself. I was having problems growing them long, but I started using this product: http://www.fingernailcare.com/ and now eight of my nails are nice and long and strong. I don't know if the nail growth formula is responsible, but I'm happy with the result. As for doing them myself, well, whenever I get them done at the parlor, I always mess them up before they're dry. Does anybody have a solution to that problem?
The next thing for me was to begin removal of my facial hair. This felt like a big, scary commitment, but in retrospect there isn't much to getting started on this. However there is a heck of a lot to following through! I chose to go with laser hair removal, which fortunately works well on me. For some people it just isn't any good, depending largely on skin type and hair color. The alternative to laser is electrolysis, which you may want to follow up with an extremely painful laser skin resurfacing if the electrolysis leaves pock-marks behind.
Facial hair removal is the most important factor for an MtF transsexual to achieve a passing female presentation. It is also the longest and one of the most expensive and painful processes to complete. By either laser or electrolysis, a complete course will take about 2 years and cost close to $5,000. And it hurts (electrolysis even more than laser, I am told.)
After about a year of monthly laser treatments (if you do electrolysis, your treatments will probably be weekly), most of my dark facial hairs were gone. But it became clear that my gray hairs were a big problem. I discovered Meladine, a melanin spray which is absorbed by the follicles of the gray hairs and makes them sensitive to the laser light. It also was a big help in clearing the very stubborn dark hairs on my upper lip. Meladine is a bit costly (about $50 every 2 weeks) and takes a lot of discipline—I apply 6 coats of it every morning and every evening, every day until my treatment is completed. But it seems to be working. If it saves me from the electrolysis needle, it is worth it to me. I just wish I had started with the Meladine earlier in my laser treatment.
I pity the MtF with heavy leg and arm hair, not to mention back hair! I was lucky to be blessed with very light leg and arm hair which I take care of with an epilator a couple times a week. (No more razor cuts for me!) I also used the laser treatment to remove all the hair on my chest and belly and underarms. This went quickly and easily, as the hair was very light to start with.
Going full time
Soon after I realized that I am in fact a transsexual woman, pretending to be a man part of the time became intolerable and I transitioned to living full-time as a woman. This in and of itself did not change my body at all, but it was of course the biggest change ever in my life. Hooray!
Before going full-time, it is important for most girls to develop a feminine-sounding voice. This is one of the most challenging aspects in all of transitioning. (As a consolation, it also happens to be the cheapest and least painful, if you do it without surgery or a voice coach, as most girls do.) I got very lucky on this one, because the funny high voice I was cursed with all my life turned out to be a huge blessing in the end. I had always gotten “Ma'am'd" on the telephone; in fact, this was one of the things that originally lit up the idea of cross-dressing in my mind. So I didn't need to do any work at all on my vocal pitch or resonance. However, there was still plenty to learn about other aspects of sounding female, including dynamic range, enunciation, word choice, and even body English.
A few months after going full-time, I began my hormone regime. (While this complies the Harry Benjamin recommendations, my reasons for waiting were actually due to some medical complications.) Some girls tell me that beginning hormones had a great and immediate impact on them, turning the sky blue, starting the birds singing, and making them feel all girly Personally, I didn't notice anything other than feeling EXTREMELY irritable for a few weeks. After about 6 months I had noticeable breast development, about an A cup, which is all I can expect unless I put on some weight. My skin has become softer (although this may also owe to regular use of expensive skin-care products), my body hair is perhaps a little bit lighter, and maybe there has been some fat redistribution to the hips (though lord knows, there isn't much fat to redistribute.) Hormones are definitely working for me, but their impact has not been dramatic in my estimation.
Surgery
Soon after going full-time, it was obvious to me that I would spend the rest of my life, joyously, as a woman. I began to consider surgical options to further increase the femininity of my body. It was as plain as the nose on my face that I ought to start with the nose on my face. So I did a rhinoplasty. This cost about $6,000, done in the U.S. It didn't hurt at all (of course the procedure was done under general anesthetic and I was on pain pills for a few days), and I was fully recovered and back to work in two weeks, looking quite alright. It took about 3 months for the swelling to go down enough to get a good idea what was done, and about 6 months for the nose to reach its final shape. I was pleased with the result.
A couple of months after the rhinoplasty, I went back to my nose doc Dr. Brink for an upper lip shortening. This was not done at the same time as the rhinoplasty because of concern about keeping good blood flow in the area. Under local anesthetic, an incision was made directly below my nose, a chunk of skin (8 mm tall x the width of my nose, leaving 11 mm behind) was removed, and the remainder was pulled up and sewed closed right below the nose. This decreased the distance between the upper lip and the nose to produce a more aesthetically pleasing proportion. What was more important to me was that it pulled up the center part of my upper lip, exposing more lip in a bit of a “Cupid's bow." I previously had an almost invisible, flat line of an upper lip, so I thought this was very feminizing. Again, I was very pleased with the result. It cost about $3,000 and only a few days of recovery time was needed. Unfortunately, now with the shortened upper lip, it appears that the nose could be a bit smaller and more upturned, too. That is something for me to consider some time in the future.
The nose job and lip shortening constitute the extent of my facial surgery. Many transsexual women have much more extensive facial surgery. San Francisco's Dr. Douglas Osterhout (“Dr. O") is the best known and most aggressive surgeon in this area, although several others including some Thai surgeons practice it. There is an extensive menu of procedures that may be included under the rubric of FFS (Facial Feminization Surgery). I, for example, would be a candidate for a browbone shave, eyebrow lift, scalp advance, lateral orbit reduction, and jaw re-shaping. Other procedures include cheek and chin implants, facelift, and more. Most transsexual girls need a trachea shave; I didn't need one because I have almost no adam's apple (which also accounts for my naturally feminine voice.) I even know one girl who had feminizing dentristry—replacing 12 of her teeth with smaller ones.
(I did do a teeth whitening—the busines where you sleep with bleach trays in your mouth for a month.)
Some of these procedures involve peeling back the skin and grinding down bones—serious stuff! FFS can be very painful. And very expensive—I heard that one girl was quoted $40,000 for the package she wanted. For my part, I am happy enough with the way my face looks today. (By the way, Dr. Brink has pointed out to me that many of the high fashion models have quite masculine-looking jaws and other features. Also they tend to have pretty small breasts, which also helps me be content with my endowment in that area.)
While I was happy with my face, there was one other part of my body that I felt
could benefit from surgical change. That, of course, was my genitalia. So very
soon after I completed my RLT (“Real Life Test", from the
Harry Benjamin Standards Of
Care, meaning that I have successfully lived a full year as a woman) I
underwent Sexual Reassignment Surgery (SRS, or as some prefer to call it, GRS or
Genital Reconstruction Surgery.) This was pretty expensive—about $15,000 (done in
the U.S. by Dr. Annette Cholon; you can estimate about half that if you go to Thailand)—and very painful for me. (Many girls report that they didn't have much pain.) The recovery time is long; most girls take 6 weeks off work. And my new vagina takes extensive care and feeding, mostly in the form of several-times daily dilation sessions. Dilation must be continued for the rest of my life, although the frequency should go down to once a week or even once a month after a few years. I am happy to say once again, I am very pleased with the result!
Conclusion
That sums up my two year project to transform by body. I've always considered myself to be a rather lazy person, and I still do today. How in the world did I manage to undertake and complete such an elaborate program? I guess the answer is mainly that it was something I wanted very badly—indeed, I needed it to survive. But another part of the answer is that I never viewed it as a single massive project. I took it day by day, step by step. I started each task when I got really hyped up for it, and I considered that each thing I did could very well be the last. So maybe I'm not done yet. Maybe next year I'll get excited about bigger breasts, or a smaller nose, or more arch to my eyebrows. If so, and if I feel like it, I may do some more. But for now, I feel good about my body exactly the way it is. The daily grind of skin care, exercise, Meladine, and dilation is a drag, but I have only to look in the mirror to get the motivation to continue.
And to any of my budding transsexual sisters out there who may be nervous about beginning to transform your own bodies, don't be discouraged. If I did it, you can do it too. Meanwhile, why not think about heading down to the mall and getting those ears pierced?
Love,
Lannie Rose
4/2003
The next thing for me was to begin removal of my facial hair. This felt like a big, scary commitment, but in retrospect there isn't much to getting started on this. However there is a heck of a lot to following through! I chose to go with laser hair removal, which fortunately works well on me. For some people it just isn't any good, depending largely on skin type and hair color. The alternative to laser is electrolysis, which you may want to follow up with an extremely painful laser skin resurfacing if the electrolysis leaves pock-marks behind.
Facial hair removal is the most important factor for an MtF transsexual to achieve a passing female presentation. It is also the longest and one of the most expensive and painful processes to complete. By either laser or electrolysis, a complete course will take about 2 years and cost close to $5,000. And it hurts (electrolysis even more than laser, I am told.)
After about a year of monthly laser treatments (if you do electrolysis, your treatments will probably be weekly), most of my dark facial hairs were gone. But it became clear that my gray hairs were a big problem. I discovered Meladine, a melanin spray which is absorbed by the follicles of the gray hairs and makes them sensitive to the laser light. It also was a big help in clearing the very stubborn dark hairs on my upper lip. Meladine is a bit costly (about $50 every 2 weeks) and takes a lot of discipline—I apply 6 coats of it every morning and every evening, every day until my treatment is completed. But it seems to be working. If it saves me from the electrolysis needle, it is worth it to me. I just wish I had started with the Meladine earlier in my laser treatment.
I pity the MtF with heavy leg and arm hair, not to mention back hair! I was lucky to be blessed with very light leg and arm hair which I take care of with an epilator a couple times a week. (No more razor cuts for me!) I also used the laser treatment to remove all the hair on my chest and belly and underarms. This went quickly and easily, as the hair was very light to start with.
Going full time
Soon after I realized that I am in fact a transsexual woman, pretending to be a man part of the time became intolerable and I transitioned to living full-time as a woman. This in and of itself did not change my body at all, but it was of course the biggest change ever in my life. Hooray!
Before going full-time, it is important for most girls to develop a feminine-sounding voice. This is one of the most challenging aspects in all of transitioning. (As a consolation, it also happens to be the cheapest and least painful, if you do it without surgery or a voice coach, as most girls do.) I got very lucky on this one, because the funny high voice I was cursed with all my life turned out to be a huge blessing in the end. I had always gotten “Ma'am'd" on the telephone; in fact, this was one of the things that originally lit up the idea of cross-dressing in my mind. So I didn't need to do any work at all on my vocal pitch or resonance. However, there was still plenty to learn about other aspects of sounding female, including dynamic range, enunciation, word choice, and even body English.
A few months after going full-time, I began my hormone regime. (While this complies the Harry Benjamin recommendations, my reasons for waiting were actually due to some medical complications.) Some girls tell me that beginning hormones had a great and immediate impact on them, turning the sky blue, starting the birds singing, and making them feel all girly Personally, I didn't notice anything other than feeling EXTREMELY irritable for a few weeks. After about 6 months I had noticeable breast development, about an A cup, which is all I can expect unless I put on some weight. My skin has become softer (although this may also owe to regular use of expensive skin-care products), my body hair is perhaps a little bit lighter, and maybe there has been some fat redistribution to the hips (though lord knows, there isn't much fat to redistribute.) Hormones are definitely working for me, but their impact has not been dramatic in my estimation.
Surgery
Soon after going full-time, it was obvious to me that I would spend the rest of my life, joyously, as a woman. I began to consider surgical options to further increase the femininity of my body. It was as plain as the nose on my face that I ought to start with the nose on my face. So I did a rhinoplasty. This cost about $6,000, done in the U.S. It didn't hurt at all (of course the procedure was done under general anesthetic and I was on pain pills for a few days), and I was fully recovered and back to work in two weeks, looking quite alright. It took about 3 months for the swelling to go down enough to get a good idea what was done, and about 6 months for the nose to reach its final shape. I was pleased with the result.
A couple of months after the rhinoplasty, I went back to my nose doc Dr. Brink for an upper lip shortening. This was not done at the same time as the rhinoplasty because of concern about keeping good blood flow in the area. Under local anesthetic, an incision was made directly below my nose, a chunk of skin (8 mm tall x the width of my nose, leaving 11 mm behind) was removed, and the remainder was pulled up and sewed closed right below the nose. This decreased the distance between the upper lip and the nose to produce a more aesthetically pleasing proportion. What was more important to me was that it pulled up the center part of my upper lip, exposing more lip in a bit of a “Cupid's bow." I previously had an almost invisible, flat line of an upper lip, so I thought this was very feminizing. Again, I was very pleased with the result. It cost about $3,000 and only a few days of recovery time was needed. Unfortunately, now with the shortened upper lip, it appears that the nose could be a bit smaller and more upturned, too. That is something for me to consider some time in the future.
The nose job and lip shortening constitute the extent of my facial surgery. Many transsexual women have much more extensive facial surgery. San Francisco's Dr. Douglas Osterhout (“Dr. O") is the best known and most aggressive surgeon in this area, although several others including some Thai surgeons practice it. There is an extensive menu of procedures that may be included under the rubric of FFS (Facial Feminization Surgery). I, for example, would be a candidate for a browbone shave, eyebrow lift, scalp advance, lateral orbit reduction, and jaw re-shaping. Other procedures include cheek and chin implants, facelift, and more. Most transsexual girls need a trachea shave; I didn't need one because I have almost no adam's apple (which also accounts for my naturally feminine voice.) I even know one girl who had feminizing dentristry—replacing 12 of her teeth with smaller ones.
(I did do a teeth whitening—the busines where you sleep with bleach trays in your mouth for a month.)
Some of these procedures involve peeling back the skin and grinding down bones—serious stuff! FFS can be very painful. And very expensive—I heard that one girl was quoted $40,000 for the package she wanted. For my part, I am happy enough with the way my face looks today. (By the way, Dr. Brink has pointed out to me that many of the high fashion models have quite masculine-looking jaws and other features. Also they tend to have pretty small breasts, which also helps me be content with my endowment in that area.)
While I was happy with my face, there was one other part of my body that I felt
could benefit from surgical change. That, of course, was my genitalia. So very
soon after I completed my RLT (“Real Life Test", from the
Harry Benjamin Standards Of
Care, meaning that I have successfully lived a full year as a woman) I
underwent Sexual Reassignment Surgery (SRS, or as some prefer to call it, GRS or
Genital Reconstruction Surgery.) This was pretty expensive—about $15,000 (done in
the U.S. by Dr. Annette Cholon; you can estimate about half that if you go to Thailand)—and very painful for me. (Many girls report that they didn't have much pain.) The recovery time is long; most girls take 6 weeks off work. And my new vagina takes extensive care and feeding, mostly in the form of several-times daily dilation sessions. Dilation must be continued for the rest of my life, although the frequency should go down to once a week or even once a month after a few years. I am happy to say once again, I am very pleased with the result!
Conclusion
That sums up my two year project to transform by body. I've always considered myself to be a rather lazy person, and I still do today. How in the world did I manage to undertake and complete such an elaborate program? I guess the answer is mainly that it was something I wanted very badly—indeed, I needed it to survive. But another part of the answer is that I never viewed it as a single massive project. I took it day by day, step by step. I started each task when I got really hyped up for it, and I considered that each thing I did could very well be the last. So maybe I'm not done yet. Maybe next year I'll get excited about bigger breasts, or a smaller nose, or more arch to my eyebrows. If so, and if I feel like it, I may do some more. But for now, I feel good about my body exactly the way it is. The daily grind of skin care, exercise, Meladine, and dilation is a drag, but I have only to look in the mirror to get the motivation to continue.
And to any of my budding transsexual sisters out there who may be nervous about beginning to transform your own bodies, don't be discouraged. If I did it, you can do it too. Meanwhile, why not think about heading down to the mall and getting those ears pierced?
Love,
Lannie Rose
4/2003
After about a year of monthly laser treatments (if you do electrolysis, your treatments will probably be weekly), most of my dark facial hairs were gone. But it became clear that my gray hairs were a big problem. I discovered Meladine, a melanin spray which is absorbed by the follicles of the gray hairs and makes them sensitive to the laser light. It also was a big help in clearing the very stubborn dark hairs on my upper lip. Meladine is a bit costly (about $50 every 2 weeks) and takes a lot of discipline—I apply 6 coats of it every morning and every evening, every day until my treatment is completed. But it seems to be working. If it saves me from the electrolysis needle, it is worth it to me. I just wish I had started with the Meladine earlier in my laser treatment.
I pity the MtF with heavy leg and arm hair, not to mention back hair! I was lucky to be blessed with very light leg and arm hair which I take care of with an epilator a couple times a week. (No more razor cuts for me!) I also used the laser treatment to remove all the hair on my chest and belly and underarms. This went quickly and easily, as the hair was very light to start with.
Going full time
Soon after I realized that I am in fact a transsexual woman, pretending to be a man part of the time became intolerable and I transitioned to living full-time as a woman. This in and of itself did not change my body at all, but it was of course the biggest change ever in my life. Hooray!
Before going full-time, it is important for most girls to develop a feminine-sounding voice. This is one of the most challenging aspects in all of transitioning. (As a consolation, it also happens to be the cheapest and least painful, if you do it without surgery or a voice coach, as most girls do.) I got very lucky on this one, because the funny high voice I was cursed with all my life turned out to be a huge blessing in the end. I had always gotten “Ma'am'd" on the telephone; in fact, this was one of the things that originally lit up the idea of cross-dressing in my mind. So I didn't need to do any work at all on my vocal pitch or resonance. However, there was still plenty to learn about other aspects of sounding female, including dynamic range, enunciation, word choice, and even body English.
A few months after going full-time, I began my hormone regime. (While this complies the Harry Benjamin recommendations, my reasons for waiting were actually due to some medical complications.) Some girls tell me that beginning hormones had a great and immediate impact on them, turning the sky blue, starting the birds singing, and making them feel all girly Personally, I didn't notice anything other than feeling EXTREMELY irritable for a few weeks. After about 6 months I had noticeable breast development, about an A cup, which is all I can expect unless I put on some weight. My skin has become softer (although this may also owe to regular use of expensive skin-care products), my body hair is perhaps a little bit lighter, and maybe there has been some fat redistribution to the hips (though lord knows, there isn't much fat to redistribute.) Hormones are definitely working for me, but their impact has not been dramatic in my estimation.
Surgery
Soon after going full-time, it was obvious to me that I would spend the rest of my life, joyously, as a woman. I began to consider surgical options to further increase the femininity of my body. It was as plain as the nose on my face that I ought to start with the nose on my face. So I did a rhinoplasty. This cost about $6,000, done in the U.S. It didn't hurt at all (of course the procedure was done under general anesthetic and I was on pain pills for a few days), and I was fully recovered and back to work in two weeks, looking quite alright. It took about 3 months for the swelling to go down enough to get a good idea what was done, and about 6 months for the nose to reach its final shape. I was pleased with the result.
A couple of months after the rhinoplasty, I went back to my nose doc Dr. Brink for an upper lip shortening. This was not done at the same time as the rhinoplasty because of concern about keeping good blood flow in the area. Under local anesthetic, an incision was made directly below my nose, a chunk of skin (8 mm tall x the width of my nose, leaving 11 mm behind) was removed, and the remainder was pulled up and sewed closed right below the nose. This decreased the distance between the upper lip and the nose to produce a more aesthetically pleasing proportion. What was more important to me was that it pulled up the center part of my upper lip, exposing more lip in a bit of a “Cupid's bow." I previously had an almost invisible, flat line of an upper lip, so I thought this was very feminizing. Again, I was very pleased with the result. It cost about $3,000 and only a few days of recovery time was needed. Unfortunately, now with the shortened upper lip, it appears that the nose could be a bit smaller and more upturned, too. That is something for me to consider some time in the future.
The nose job and lip shortening constitute the extent of my facial surgery. Many transsexual women have much more extensive facial surgery. San Francisco's Dr. Douglas Osterhout (“Dr. O") is the best known and most aggressive surgeon in this area, although several others including some Thai surgeons practice it. There is an extensive menu of procedures that may be included under the rubric of FFS (Facial Feminization Surgery). I, for example, would be a candidate for a browbone shave, eyebrow lift, scalp advance, lateral orbit reduction, and jaw re-shaping. Other procedures include cheek and chin implants, facelift, and more. Most transsexual girls need a trachea shave; I didn't need one because I have almost no adam's apple (which also accounts for my naturally feminine voice.) I even know one girl who had feminizing dentristry—replacing 12 of her teeth with smaller ones.
(I did do a teeth whitening—the busines where you sleep with bleach trays in your mouth for a month.)
Some of these procedures involve peeling back the skin and grinding down bones—serious stuff! FFS can be very painful. And very expensive—I heard that one girl was quoted $40,000 for the package she wanted. For my part, I am happy enough with the way my face looks today. (By the way, Dr. Brink has pointed out to me that many of the high fashion models have quite masculine-looking jaws and other features. Also they tend to have pretty small breasts, which also helps me be content with my endowment in that area.)
While I was happy with my face, there was one other part of my body that I felt
could benefit from surgical change. That, of course, was my genitalia. So very
soon after I completed my RLT (“Real Life Test", from the
Harry Benjamin Standards Of
Care, meaning that I have successfully lived a full year as a woman) I
underwent Sexual Reassignment Surgery (SRS, or as some prefer to call it, GRS or
Genital Reconstruction Surgery.) This was pretty expensive—about $15,000 (done in
the U.S. by Dr. Annette Cholon; you can estimate about half that if you go to Thailand)—and very painful for me. (Many girls report that they didn't have much pain.) The recovery time is long; most girls take 6 weeks off work. And my new vagina takes extensive care and feeding, mostly in the form of several-times daily dilation sessions. Dilation must be continued for the rest of my life, although the frequency should go down to once a week or even once a month after a few years. I am happy to say once again, I am very pleased with the result!
Conclusion
That sums up my two year project to transform by body. I've always considered myself to be a rather lazy person, and I still do today. How in the world did I manage to undertake and complete such an elaborate program? I guess the answer is mainly that it was something I wanted very badly—indeed, I needed it to survive. But another part of the answer is that I never viewed it as a single massive project. I took it day by day, step by step. I started each task when I got really hyped up for it, and I considered that each thing I did could very well be the last. So maybe I'm not done yet. Maybe next year I'll get excited about bigger breasts, or a smaller nose, or more arch to my eyebrows. If so, and if I feel like it, I may do some more. But for now, I feel good about my body exactly the way it is. The daily grind of skin care, exercise, Meladine, and dilation is a drag, but I have only to look in the mirror to get the motivation to continue.
And to any of my budding transsexual sisters out there who may be nervous about beginning to transform your own bodies, don't be discouraged. If I did it, you can do it too. Meanwhile, why not think about heading down to the mall and getting those ears pierced?
Love,
Lannie Rose
4/2003
Going full time
Soon after I realized that I am in fact a transsexual woman, pretending to be a man part of the time became intolerable and I transitioned to living full-time as a woman. This in and of itself did not change my body at all, but it was of course the biggest change ever in my life. Hooray!
Before going full-time, it is important for most girls to develop a feminine-sounding voice. This is one of the most challenging aspects in all of transitioning. (As a consolation, it also happens to be the cheapest and least painful, if you do it without surgery or a voice coach, as most girls do.) I got very lucky on this one, because the funny high voice I was cursed with all my life turned out to be a huge blessing in the end. I had always gotten “Ma'am'd" on the telephone; in fact, this was one of the things that originally lit up the idea of cross-dressing in my mind. So I didn't need to do any work at all on my vocal pitch or resonance. However, there was still plenty to learn about other aspects of sounding female, including dynamic range, enunciation, word choice, and even body English.
A few months after going full-time, I began my hormone regime. (While this complies the Harry Benjamin recommendations, my reasons for waiting were actually due to some medical complications.) Some girls tell me that beginning hormones had a great and immediate impact on them, turning the sky blue, starting the birds singing, and making them feel all girly Personally, I didn't notice anything other than feeling EXTREMELY irritable for a few weeks. After about 6 months I had noticeable breast development, about an A cup, which is all I can expect unless I put on some weight. My skin has become softer (although this may also owe to regular use of expensive skin-care products), my body hair is perhaps a little bit lighter, and maybe there has been some fat redistribution to the hips (though lord knows, there isn't much fat to redistribute.) Hormones are definitely working for me, but their impact has not been dramatic in my estimation.
Surgery
Soon after going full-time, it was obvious to me that I would spend the rest of my life, joyously, as a woman. I began to consider surgical options to further increase the femininity of my body. It was as plain as the nose on my face that I ought to start with the nose on my face. So I did a rhinoplasty. This cost about $6,000, done in the U.S. It didn't hurt at all (of course the procedure was done under general anesthetic and I was on pain pills for a few days), and I was fully recovered and back to work in two weeks, looking quite alright. It took about 3 months for the swelling to go down enough to get a good idea what was done, and about 6 months for the nose to reach its final shape. I was pleased with the result.
A couple of months after the rhinoplasty, I went back to my nose doc Dr. Brink for an upper lip shortening. This was not done at the same time as the rhinoplasty because of concern about keeping good blood flow in the area. Under local anesthetic, an incision was made directly below my nose, a chunk of skin (8 mm tall x the width of my nose, leaving 11 mm behind) was removed, and the remainder was pulled up and sewed closed right below the nose. This decreased the distance between the upper lip and the nose to produce a more aesthetically pleasing proportion. What was more important to me was that it pulled up the center part of my upper lip, exposing more lip in a bit of a “Cupid's bow." I previously had an almost invisible, flat line of an upper lip, so I thought this was very feminizing. Again, I was very pleased with the result. It cost about $3,000 and only a few days of recovery time was needed. Unfortunately, now with the shortened upper lip, it appears that the nose could be a bit smaller and more upturned, too. That is something for me to consider some time in the future.
The nose job and lip shortening constitute the extent of my facial surgery. Many transsexual women have much more extensive facial surgery. San Francisco's Dr. Douglas Osterhout (“Dr. O") is the best known and most aggressive surgeon in this area, although several others including some Thai surgeons practice it. There is an extensive menu of procedures that may be included under the rubric of FFS (Facial Feminization Surgery). I, for example, would be a candidate for a browbone shave, eyebrow lift, scalp advance, lateral orbit reduction, and jaw re-shaping. Other procedures include cheek and chin implants, facelift, and more. Most transsexual girls need a trachea shave; I didn't need one because I have almost no adam's apple (which also accounts for my naturally feminine voice.) I even know one girl who had feminizing dentristry—replacing 12 of her teeth with smaller ones.
(I did do a teeth whitening—the busines where you sleep with bleach trays in your mouth for a month.)
Some of these procedures involve peeling back the skin and grinding down bones—serious stuff! FFS can be very painful. And very expensive—I heard that one girl was quoted $40,000 for the package she wanted. For my part, I am happy enough with the way my face looks today. (By the way, Dr. Brink has pointed out to me that many of the high fashion models have quite masculine-looking jaws and other features. Also they tend to have pretty small breasts, which also helps me be content with my endowment in that area.)
While I was happy with my face, there was one other part of my body that I felt
could benefit from surgical change. That, of course, was my genitalia. So very
soon after I completed my RLT (“Real Life Test", from the
Harry Benjamin Standards Of
Care, meaning that I have successfully lived a full year as a woman) I
underwent Sexual Reassignment Surgery (SRS, or as some prefer to call it, GRS or
Genital Reconstruction Surgery.) This was pretty expensive—about $15,000 (done in
the U.S. by Dr. Annette Cholon; you can estimate about half that if you go to Thailand)—and very painful for me. (Many girls report that they didn't have much pain.) The recovery time is long; most girls take 6 weeks off work. And my new vagina takes extensive care and feeding, mostly in the form of several-times daily dilation sessions. Dilation must be continued for the rest of my life, although the frequency should go down to once a week or even once a month after a few years. I am happy to say once again, I am very pleased with the result!
Conclusion
That sums up my two year project to transform by body. I've always considered myself to be a rather lazy person, and I still do today. How in the world did I manage to undertake and complete such an elaborate program? I guess the answer is mainly that it was something I wanted very badly—indeed, I needed it to survive. But another part of the answer is that I never viewed it as a single massive project. I took it day by day, step by step. I started each task when I got really hyped up for it, and I considered that each thing I did could very well be the last. So maybe I'm not done yet. Maybe next year I'll get excited about bigger breasts, or a smaller nose, or more arch to my eyebrows. If so, and if I feel like it, I may do some more. But for now, I feel good about my body exactly the way it is. The daily grind of skin care, exercise, Meladine, and dilation is a drag, but I have only to look in the mirror to get the motivation to continue.
And to any of my budding transsexual sisters out there who may be nervous about beginning to transform your own bodies, don't be discouraged. If I did it, you can do it too. Meanwhile, why not think about heading down to the mall and getting those ears pierced?
Love,
Lannie Rose
4/2003
Before going full-time, it is important for most girls to develop a feminine-sounding voice. This is one of the most challenging aspects in all of transitioning. (As a consolation, it also happens to be the cheapest and least painful, if you do it without surgery or a voice coach, as most girls do.) I got very lucky on this one, because the funny high voice I was cursed with all my life turned out to be a huge blessing in the end. I had always gotten “Ma'am'd" on the telephone; in fact, this was one of the things that originally lit up the idea of cross-dressing in my mind. So I didn't need to do any work at all on my vocal pitch or resonance. However, there was still plenty to learn about other aspects of sounding female, including dynamic range, enunciation, word choice, and even body English.
A few months after going full-time, I began my hormone regime. (While this complies the Harry Benjamin recommendations, my reasons for waiting were actually due to some medical complications.) Some girls tell me that beginning hormones had a great and immediate impact on them, turning the sky blue, starting the birds singing, and making them feel all girly Personally, I didn't notice anything other than feeling EXTREMELY irritable for a few weeks. After about 6 months I had noticeable breast development, about an A cup, which is all I can expect unless I put on some weight. My skin has become softer (although this may also owe to regular use of expensive skin-care products), my body hair is perhaps a little bit lighter, and maybe there has been some fat redistribution to the hips (though lord knows, there isn't much fat to redistribute.) Hormones are definitely working for me, but their impact has not been dramatic in my estimation.
Surgery
Soon after going full-time, it was obvious to me that I would spend the rest of my life, joyously, as a woman. I began to consider surgical options to further increase the femininity of my body. It was as plain as the nose on my face that I ought to start with the nose on my face. So I did a rhinoplasty. This cost about $6,000, done in the U.S. It didn't hurt at all (of course the procedure was done under general anesthetic and I was on pain pills for a few days), and I was fully recovered and back to work in two weeks, looking quite alright. It took about 3 months for the swelling to go down enough to get a good idea what was done, and about 6 months for the nose to reach its final shape. I was pleased with the result.
A couple of months after the rhinoplasty, I went back to my nose doc Dr. Brink for an upper lip shortening. This was not done at the same time as the rhinoplasty because of concern about keeping good blood flow in the area. Under local anesthetic, an incision was made directly below my nose, a chunk of skin (8 mm tall x the width of my nose, leaving 11 mm behind) was removed, and the remainder was pulled up and sewed closed right below the nose. This decreased the distance between the upper lip and the nose to produce a more aesthetically pleasing proportion. What was more important to me was that it pulled up the center part of my upper lip, exposing more lip in a bit of a “Cupid's bow." I previously had an almost invisible, flat line of an upper lip, so I thought this was very feminizing. Again, I was very pleased with the result. It cost about $3,000 and only a few days of recovery time was needed. Unfortunately, now with the shortened upper lip, it appears that the nose could be a bit smaller and more upturned, too. That is something for me to consider some time in the future.
The nose job and lip shortening constitute the extent of my facial surgery. Many transsexual women have much more extensive facial surgery. San Francisco's Dr. Douglas Osterhout (“Dr. O") is the best known and most aggressive surgeon in this area, although several others including some Thai surgeons practice it. There is an extensive menu of procedures that may be included under the rubric of FFS (Facial Feminization Surgery). I, for example, would be a candidate for a browbone shave, eyebrow lift, scalp advance, lateral orbit reduction, and jaw re-shaping. Other procedures include cheek and chin implants, facelift, and more. Most transsexual girls need a trachea shave; I didn't need one because I have almost no adam's apple (which also accounts for my naturally feminine voice.) I even know one girl who had feminizing dentristry—replacing 12 of her teeth with smaller ones.
(I did do a teeth whitening—the busines where you sleep with bleach trays in your mouth for a month.)
Some of these procedures involve peeling back the skin and grinding down bones—serious stuff! FFS can be very painful. And very expensive—I heard that one girl was quoted $40,000 for the package she wanted. For my part, I am happy enough with the way my face looks today. (By the way, Dr. Brink has pointed out to me that many of the high fashion models have quite masculine-looking jaws and other features. Also they tend to have pretty small breasts, which also helps me be content with my endowment in that area.)
While I was happy with my face, there was one other part of my body that I felt
could benefit from surgical change. That, of course, was my genitalia. So very
soon after I completed my RLT (“Real Life Test", from the
Harry Benjamin Standards Of
Care, meaning that I have successfully lived a full year as a woman) I
underwent Sexual Reassignment Surgery (SRS, or as some prefer to call it, GRS or
Genital Reconstruction Surgery.) This was pretty expensive—about $15,000 (done in
the U.S. by Dr. Annette Cholon; you can estimate about half that if you go to Thailand)—and very painful for me. (Many girls report that they didn't have much pain.) The recovery time is long; most girls take 6 weeks off work. And my new vagina takes extensive care and feeding, mostly in the form of several-times daily dilation sessions. Dilation must be continued for the rest of my life, although the frequency should go down to once a week or even once a month after a few years. I am happy to say once again, I am very pleased with the result!
Conclusion
That sums up my two year project to transform by body. I've always considered myself to be a rather lazy person, and I still do today. How in the world did I manage to undertake and complete such an elaborate program? I guess the answer is mainly that it was something I wanted very badly—indeed, I needed it to survive. But another part of the answer is that I never viewed it as a single massive project. I took it day by day, step by step. I started each task when I got really hyped up for it, and I considered that each thing I did could very well be the last. So maybe I'm not done yet. Maybe next year I'll get excited about bigger breasts, or a smaller nose, or more arch to my eyebrows. If so, and if I feel like it, I may do some more. But for now, I feel good about my body exactly the way it is. The daily grind of skin care, exercise, Meladine, and dilation is a drag, but I have only to look in the mirror to get the motivation to continue.
And to any of my budding transsexual sisters out there who may be nervous about beginning to transform your own bodies, don't be discouraged. If I did it, you can do it too. Meanwhile, why not think about heading down to the mall and getting those ears pierced?
Love,
Lannie Rose
4/2003
Surgery
Soon after going full-time, it was obvious to me that I would spend the rest of my life, joyously, as a woman. I began to consider surgical options to further increase the femininity of my body. It was as plain as the nose on my face that I ought to start with the nose on my face. So I did a rhinoplasty. This cost about $6,000, done in the U.S. It didn't hurt at all (of course the procedure was done under general anesthetic and I was on pain pills for a few days), and I was fully recovered and back to work in two weeks, looking quite alright. It took about 3 months for the swelling to go down enough to get a good idea what was done, and about 6 months for the nose to reach its final shape. I was pleased with the result.
A couple of months after the rhinoplasty, I went back to my nose doc Dr. Brink for an upper lip shortening. This was not done at the same time as the rhinoplasty because of concern about keeping good blood flow in the area. Under local anesthetic, an incision was made directly below my nose, a chunk of skin (8 mm tall x the width of my nose, leaving 11 mm behind) was removed, and the remainder was pulled up and sewed closed right below the nose. This decreased the distance between the upper lip and the nose to produce a more aesthetically pleasing proportion. What was more important to me was that it pulled up the center part of my upper lip, exposing more lip in a bit of a “Cupid's bow." I previously had an almost invisible, flat line of an upper lip, so I thought this was very feminizing. Again, I was very pleased with the result. It cost about $3,000 and only a few days of recovery time was needed. Unfortunately, now with the shortened upper lip, it appears that the nose could be a bit smaller and more upturned, too. That is something for me to consider some time in the future.
The nose job and lip shortening constitute the extent of my facial surgery. Many transsexual women have much more extensive facial surgery. San Francisco's Dr. Douglas Osterhout (“Dr. O") is the best known and most aggressive surgeon in this area, although several others including some Thai surgeons practice it. There is an extensive menu of procedures that may be included under the rubric of FFS (Facial Feminization Surgery). I, for example, would be a candidate for a browbone shave, eyebrow lift, scalp advance, lateral orbit reduction, and jaw re-shaping. Other procedures include cheek and chin implants, facelift, and more. Most transsexual girls need a trachea shave; I didn't need one because I have almost no adam's apple (which also accounts for my naturally feminine voice.) I even know one girl who had feminizing dentristry—replacing 12 of her teeth with smaller ones.
(I did do a teeth whitening—the busines where you sleep with bleach trays in your mouth for a month.)
Some of these procedures involve peeling back the skin and grinding down bones—serious stuff! FFS can be very painful. And very expensive—I heard that one girl was quoted $40,000 for the package she wanted. For my part, I am happy enough with the way my face looks today. (By the way, Dr. Brink has pointed out to me that many of the high fashion models have quite masculine-looking jaws and other features. Also they tend to have pretty small breasts, which also helps me be content with my endowment in that area.)
While I was happy with my face, there was one other part of my body that I felt
could benefit from surgical change. That, of course, was my genitalia. So very
soon after I completed my RLT (“Real Life Test", from the
Harry Benjamin Standards Of
Care, meaning that I have successfully lived a full year as a woman) I
underwent Sexual Reassignment Surgery (SRS, or as some prefer to call it, GRS or
Genital Reconstruction Surgery.) This was pretty expensive—about $15,000 (done in
the U.S. by Dr. Annette Cholon; you can estimate about half that if you go to Thailand)—and very painful for me. (Many girls report that they didn't have much pain.) The recovery time is long; most girls take 6 weeks off work. And my new vagina takes extensive care and feeding, mostly in the form of several-times daily dilation sessions. Dilation must be continued for the rest of my life, although the frequency should go down to once a week or even once a month after a few years. I am happy to say once again, I am very pleased with the result!
Conclusion
That sums up my two year project to transform by body. I've always considered myself to be a rather lazy person, and I still do today. How in the world did I manage to undertake and complete such an elaborate program? I guess the answer is mainly that it was something I wanted very badly—indeed, I needed it to survive. But another part of the answer is that I never viewed it as a single massive project. I took it day by day, step by step. I started each task when I got really hyped up for it, and I considered that each thing I did could very well be the last. So maybe I'm not done yet. Maybe next year I'll get excited about bigger breasts, or a smaller nose, or more arch to my eyebrows. If so, and if I feel like it, I may do some more. But for now, I feel good about my body exactly the way it is. The daily grind of skin care, exercise, Meladine, and dilation is a drag, but I have only to look in the mirror to get the motivation to continue.
And to any of my budding transsexual sisters out there who may be nervous about beginning to transform your own bodies, don't be discouraged. If I did it, you can do it too. Meanwhile, why not think about heading down to the mall and getting those ears pierced?
Love,
Lannie Rose
4/2003
A couple of months after the rhinoplasty, I went back to my nose doc Dr. Brink for an upper lip shortening. This was not done at the same time as the rhinoplasty because of concern about keeping good blood flow in the area. Under local anesthetic, an incision was made directly below my nose, a chunk of skin (8 mm tall x the width of my nose, leaving 11 mm behind) was removed, and the remainder was pulled up and sewed closed right below the nose. This decreased the distance between the upper lip and the nose to produce a more aesthetically pleasing proportion. What was more important to me was that it pulled up the center part of my upper lip, exposing more lip in a bit of a “Cupid's bow." I previously had an almost invisible, flat line of an upper lip, so I thought this was very feminizing. Again, I was very pleased with the result. It cost about $3,000 and only a few days of recovery time was needed. Unfortunately, now with the shortened upper lip, it appears that the nose could be a bit smaller and more upturned, too. That is something for me to consider some time in the future.
The nose job and lip shortening constitute the extent of my facial surgery. Many transsexual women have much more extensive facial surgery. San Francisco's Dr. Douglas Osterhout (“Dr. O") is the best known and most aggressive surgeon in this area, although several others including some Thai surgeons practice it. There is an extensive menu of procedures that may be included under the rubric of FFS (Facial Feminization Surgery). I, for example, would be a candidate for a browbone shave, eyebrow lift, scalp advance, lateral orbit reduction, and jaw re-shaping. Other procedures include cheek and chin implants, facelift, and more. Most transsexual girls need a trachea shave; I didn't need one because I have almost no adam's apple (which also accounts for my naturally feminine voice.) I even know one girl who had feminizing dentristry—replacing 12 of her teeth with smaller ones.
(I did do a teeth whitening—the busines where you sleep with bleach trays in your mouth for a month.)
Some of these procedures involve peeling back the skin and grinding down bones—serious stuff! FFS can be very painful. And very expensive—I heard that one girl was quoted $40,000 for the package she wanted. For my part, I am happy enough with the way my face looks today. (By the way, Dr. Brink has pointed out to me that many of the high fashion models have quite masculine-looking jaws and other features. Also they tend to have pretty small breasts, which also helps me be content with my endowment in that area.)
While I was happy with my face, there was one other part of my body that I felt
could benefit from surgical change. That, of course, was my genitalia. So very
soon after I completed my RLT (“Real Life Test", from the
Harry Benjamin Standards Of
Care, meaning that I have successfully lived a full year as a woman) I
underwent Sexual Reassignment Surgery (SRS, or as some prefer to call it, GRS or
Genital Reconstruction Surgery.) This was pretty expensive—about $15,000 (done in
the U.S. by Dr. Annette Cholon; you can estimate about half that if you go to Thailand)—and very painful for me. (Many girls report that they didn't have much pain.) The recovery time is long; most girls take 6 weeks off work. And my new vagina takes extensive care and feeding, mostly in the form of several-times daily dilation sessions. Dilation must be continued for the rest of my life, although the frequency should go down to once a week or even once a month after a few years. I am happy to say once again, I am very pleased with the result!
Conclusion
That sums up my two year project to transform by body. I've always considered myself to be a rather lazy person, and I still do today. How in the world did I manage to undertake and complete such an elaborate program? I guess the answer is mainly that it was something I wanted very badly—indeed, I needed it to survive. But another part of the answer is that I never viewed it as a single massive project. I took it day by day, step by step. I started each task when I got really hyped up for it, and I considered that each thing I did could very well be the last. So maybe I'm not done yet. Maybe next year I'll get excited about bigger breasts, or a smaller nose, or more arch to my eyebrows. If so, and if I feel like it, I may do some more. But for now, I feel good about my body exactly the way it is. The daily grind of skin care, exercise, Meladine, and dilation is a drag, but I have only to look in the mirror to get the motivation to continue.
And to any of my budding transsexual sisters out there who may be nervous about beginning to transform your own bodies, don't be discouraged. If I did it, you can do it too. Meanwhile, why not think about heading down to the mall and getting those ears pierced?
Love,
Lannie Rose
4/2003
While I was happy with my face, there was one other part of my body that I felt
could benefit from surgical change. That, of course, was my genitalia. So very
soon after I completed my RLT (“Real Life Test", from the
Harry Benjamin Standards Of
Care, meaning that I have successfully lived a full year as a woman) I
underwent Sexual Reassignment Surgery (SRS, or as some prefer to call it, GRS or
Genital Reconstruction Surgery.) This was pretty expensive—about $15,000 (done in
the U.S. by Dr. Annette Cholon; you can estimate about half that if you go to Thailand)—and very painful for me. (Many girls report that they didn't have much pain.) The recovery time is long; most girls take 6 weeks off work. And my new vagina takes extensive care and feeding, mostly in the form of several-times daily dilation sessions. Dilation must be continued for the rest of my life, although the frequency should go down to once a week or even once a month after a few years. I am happy to say once again, I am very pleased with the result!
Conclusion
That sums up my two year project to transform by body. I've always considered myself to be a rather lazy person, and I still do today. How in the world did I manage to undertake and complete such an elaborate program? I guess the answer is mainly that it was something I wanted very badly—indeed, I needed it to survive. But another part of the answer is that I never viewed it as a single massive project. I took it day by day, step by step. I started each task when I got really hyped up for it, and I considered that each thing I did could very well be the last. So maybe I'm not done yet. Maybe next year I'll get excited about bigger breasts, or a smaller nose, or more arch to my eyebrows. If so, and if I feel like it, I may do some more. But for now, I feel good about my body exactly the way it is. The daily grind of skin care, exercise, Meladine, and dilation is a drag, but I have only to look in the mirror to get the motivation to continue.
And to any of my budding transsexual sisters out there who may be nervous about beginning to transform your own bodies, don't be discouraged. If I did it, you can do it too. Meanwhile, why not think about heading down to the mall and getting those ears pierced?
Love,
Lannie Rose
4/2003
That sums up my two year project to transform by body. I've always considered myself to be a rather lazy person, and I still do today. How in the world did I manage to undertake and complete such an elaborate program? I guess the answer is mainly that it was something I wanted very badly—indeed, I needed it to survive. But another part of the answer is that I never viewed it as a single massive project. I took it day by day, step by step. I started each task when I got really hyped up for it, and I considered that each thing I did could very well be the last. So maybe I'm not done yet. Maybe next year I'll get excited about bigger breasts, or a smaller nose, or more arch to my eyebrows. If so, and if I feel like it, I may do some more. But for now, I feel good about my body exactly the way it is. The daily grind of skin care, exercise, Meladine, and dilation is a drag, but I have only to look in the mirror to get the motivation to continue.
And to any of my budding transsexual sisters out there who may be nervous about beginning to transform your own bodies, don't be discouraged. If I did it, you can do it too. Meanwhile, why not think about heading down to the mall and getting those ears pierced?
Love,
Lannie Rose
4/2003
Love,
Lannie Rose
4/2003
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